So... you want to sell your soul, but you just can't find the time?

AND WELCOME TO THE WORLD WIDE WEB'S "SOULOMATIC" AUTOMATIC SOUL TRADING SITE!....©.1997

Now chill out, don't be a wimp!

No doubt you have heard some pretty scary stories about me. But worry not, those stories are not true. Most of them have been made up by that archangel Michael (who thinks he is pretty hot since he has his own movie, with John Travolta as the star no less). Sheesh, nobody has paid any attention to me since that old Linda Blair flick, and that was NOT EVEN ME, but just one of my minions..err, uhh..groupies.

Adam and Eve? just a couple of love starved kids looking for a snack. Jesus in the desert?, hell, you'd be seeing some pretty weird stuff too after wondering around the desert with no food or drink!
Don't forget, at one time I was THE top angel, until a small misunderstanding between me and the big guy (and they say I have a temper..sheeesh!) The REAL TRUTH is: I'm a pretty mellow guy. Hell, if it was not for me, there would be no diet cola sweetened with nutrisweet, no late night TV (I love Leno), decaf coffee, Kia automobiles, disco music, brady bunch movies, bell bottom retro hippie jeans, or any life as we now know it... But I degress,

So lets get to the point!

I've just made selling your soul even easier that ordering a home pasta cooker from one of those TV infomercials!!!

Now, you can quickly SELL your soul to me ONLINE in complete privacy and security!!!!! (Will the wonders of the internet never cease?)

So just fill in the form below....and see if we can strike a bargain (without all that messy old blood signature stuff) You won't regret it!!

First I need to know how to get in touch with you. This line should include YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS so I can contact you if I agree to buy your soul, and let you know if I will be displaying the sale terms on another page. A typical E-mail address should look something like: jerryfallwell@holyerthanthou.net

The next thing you need to do is to tell me the name of your soul. The name you send should be the name you were born into...like "Homer J. Simpson"

O.K., So lets strike a bargain.

The days of unlimited wealth went away with the Carter Administration. As for rows of naked beauties, we have run into a shortage of implants. So please try and make your trade offer something I can handle! Hell, I'm the Devil, not Donald Trump. So fill in the blank with what you would like to trade for your soul, plus any conditions.

ARE YOU DONE SELLING YOUR SOUL?